Ode to a School Computer
By David Ahl
I was stay'in after school a week or so ago
'Cause I told a teacher where she could go
She had me settin' in this big old room
With a bunch of machines that just looked like doom
There's this big Mutha machine with flashing' lights
And a couple of funny-looking' electric typewrites
Well I thought I'd type somethin' for the fun of it
So I hunted and pecked out just one word - "shit"
Before I could lean back in my chair and get steady
That machine typed WHAT, and then it said READY
So I typed a whole line of them four-letter words
But it just replied WHAT and READY like it hadn't heard
Well I figured since I couldn't go out fishin'
I'd teach that stupid machine to listen
So I picked up this book called Teach yourself BASIC
And sat down at that Teletype prepared to face it
First I found to make that machine type my bit
I just had to put a PRINT in front of it
And then I found out that thing could add
And subtract and multiply and divide like mad
I found out too it knew all kinds of games
Like craps and blackjack and a cannon to aim
I was havin' all kinds of fun when that teacher walked in
She just looked at my output and started to grin
I kind of sheepishly asked if I could stay a while more
She said: "Sure; when you just shut the door".
I tried some more games like football and poker
And a parachute jump written by some kind of joker
There was one where I could try to land on the moon
It would crash and blow up if fired the engines too soon
Well, I played on through supper and into the night
And then finally quit when I saw dawn's first light.
Some girls, I know are while lot cuter
But I found a new kind of high with that computer.